(Best served in quiet contemplation of who she could have been, with a mix of Pride and Guilt)
Start with a firstborn daughter, layer in expectations of being the smart one, the successful one, with good grades and better manners, the only remark on her report card being “she’s brilliant, but she talks too much”
Chop off the rebellious roots, the untamed dreams, but keep the safe, stable life choices in case anyone ever needs to lean on her
Boil away any sense of individual; her life will always be in response to someone else’s needs before her own
Incorporate siblings into children she didn’t have or ask to be responsible for, but do it anyway because someone has to and why not her
Simmer over years of pretending everything is fine until it boils over in the middle of an argument, in the Kwik Trip parking lot, or a staff meeting, never where it needs to and always at the worst time
Garnish with an anxiety disorder disguised as “compassion” and “empathy”
Serve cold-hearted and years too late, on Gramma’s worn-out potholders, with her same worn-out smile.
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Published originally in Portage Lit Mag's 2023 issue. The original version can be found here: https://portagemagazine.org/recipe-for-your-first-daughter/
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